THREE STORIES ABOUT FEELING BETTER Sadness Sadness Handle My Emotions how to

To Madeleine and Maylis, who have also moved. Affectionately, G. T. To my children and my godchildren. V.M. To all the children I accompany in coaching on managing their emotions. S.d.N. Under the direction of Romain Lizé, President, Magnificat Editor, Magnificat: Isabelle Galmiche Editor, Ignatius: Vivian Dudro Translator: Magnificat . Ignat ius Proofreader: Kathleen Hollenbeck Graphic Designers: Armelle Riva, Thérèse Jauze Layout: Gauthier Delauné Production: Thierry Dubus, Audrey Bord Original French edition: Ciao Tristesse! © 2018 by Mame, Paris © 2022 by Magnificat, NewYork • Ignatius Press, San Francisco All rights reserved. ISBN Magnificat 978-1-63967-034-5 • ISBN Ignatius Press 978-1-62164-619-8

Gaëlle Tertrais • Violaine Moulière • Ségolène de Noüel Caroline Modeste Handle My Emotions how to THREE STORIES ABOUT FEELING BETTER

Contents Introduction.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7 1. A Friend Moves Away. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9 2. One Last Gift. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19 3. Charlotte Has the Blues.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 33 What HaveYou Learned from These Stories?. . . . 46 The Pathway through Emotions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 50 Parents’ Corner. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52

Tntroduction Emotions—you feel a lot of them every day. Some are pleasant, and some are less so. Either way, they are an important part of the way God made you. They tell you how the world around you is affecting you. In this book, you will learn to recognize the emotion of sadness: when you have a heavy heart, when your eyes fill with tears, when you don't want to do anything that you normally enjoy, and when life seems drab and colorless. You will also learn not to let yourself be trapped by sadness. With Elliot and Charlotte, you will discover tools that will help you to accept this emotion, and the loss that might have caused it, and then to move beyond it. In each story—with the help of small drawings in the margins—you will be able to follow the steps taken by Elliot and Charlotte to see that sadness is a normal part of life and that through the virtues of altruism, hope, and gratitude they can find joy again.


1 9 A Friend Moves Away Today is the start of the new school year. At recess, all the students are happy to see their friends again—but not Charlotte. She is having one of the saddest days of her life! Nina, her best friend, has moved away. Her family went to live in China, where her father has a job. Charlotte sits all alone, knees bent under her chin. She has a lump in her throat, and she is trying not to cry. Elliot comes running over, very happy. “Hey, Charlo, want to play kickball?” “No, thanks,” says Charlotte in a small voice. “I don’t want to.” CHARLOTTE NOTICES THE REACTIONS OF HER BODY.

10 Charlotte is stuck in sadness. She feels like a butterfly caught in a spider web with no way to escape. In the classroom, the teacher’s voice sounds far away. Charlotte is lost in thought. She is remembering last year, when she and Nina sat next to each other. What fun they had! At lunchtime and recess, they would tell each other stories and laugh out loud. Charlotte’s eyes fill with tears again, and again she holds them back. After school, Charlotte goes straight home. “How was the first day of school?" Mom asks. Charlotte doesn't want to answer. She runs to her room and throws herself on her bed. Finally, she lets her tears flow freely. Mom enters the room and sits beside Charlotte. “Where did that sunny smile go?” she asks. “What has made you so sad?”

11 Charlotte is sobbing so hard that she cannot reply. Her chin is trembling; her body is shaking. She feels that letting out all her sorrow is doing her good. Charlotte sits up, and Mom hugs her for a long time. Feeling the spider web gradually loosening, she whispers, “I really miss Nina . . . I wish she were here.” “You know,” says Mom, “even though Nina is thousands of miles away, she is still your friend. You can you call her on Saturday, if you like, early in the morning. It will be evening her time.” On Saturday morning, Charlotte wakes up early to call Nina. She is excited and a little bit nervous too. Suddenly on the tablet screen her friend's face appears! “Hello, Nina!” “Hello, Charlotte!” CHARLOTTE WELCOMES HER SADNESS.

12 What joy for the friends to see each other! “How is your new life in China?” asks Charlotte. “The streets are crowded with people riding bicycles and speaking Mandarin,” Nina says. “And the language isn’t easy to learn. Using chopsticks isn’t easy either!” Nina tells Charlotte that once, while she was trying to eat noodle soup, she splashed broth everywhere! The two friends laugh out loud, just as before. But soon it is time for Nina to get ready for bed, and the friends must say goodbye. In front of the screen that has gone black, Charlotte starts feeling blue again. Mom walks into the living room and asks for news of Nina. Seeing her daughter’s sad look, she suddenly has an idea. “You know our neighbor around the corner, Mrs. Parker?” she asks. “She called to say that she has a basket of apples for us. Would you like to go over and get it?” “I dunno…,” mutters Charlotte. “It might make you feel better,” says Mom. “Missing someone dear to us makes us sad. But

13 we can find joy again by taking an interest in the people around us.” Alone in the living room, Charlotte considers what Mom said. So now, what should I do about my sadness? Charlotte is tired of feeling lonely, but she also feels stuck in the awful web of sadness. Could she break free by opening up to the people around her? “I will visit Mrs. Parker!” she thinks. “After all, I would like to make a new friend.” Charlotte stands up and spreads out her arms as far as she can. She feels herself breaking through the web! CHARLOTTE CONSIDERS. CHARLOTTE CHOOSES THE VIRTUE OF ALTRUISM. TO BE FREE OF SADNESS, CHARLOTTE USES A TOOL: SHE OPENS HER ARMS. CHARLOTTE RECOGNIZES HER NEED FOR FRIENDSHIP.

14 In the afternoon, Charlotte walks over to Mrs. Parker’s house. Mrs. Parker lives alone in an old house with blue shutters. Charlotte rings the bell, and an elderly woman opens the door. A warm smile spreads across her face. Her eyes twinkle with kindness. “Come in, Charlotte,” she says. Inside, the house smells of waxed wood. Mrs. Parker leads Charlotte to the kitchen and shows her a large basket of apples. “Did they come from your garden?” asks Charlotte. CHARLOTTE PRACTICES THE VIRTUE OF ALTRUISM.

47 WHAT MAKES YOU SAD? (Check the correct answer(s).) You lost someone or something dear to you. Someone you love has died. Everything seems to be going wrong. You are tired of being happy. Write down an event that made you sad here: WHAT DO YOU NEED WHEN YOU ARE SAD? (Check the answers that apply to you.) I need to be comforted. I need to be listened to. I need to let time pass. I need to think of something else. Other:

48 Focus on Prudence “Be careful!” You often hear these words when there is some danger nearby. But being careful is not only about avoiding danger. Being careful is also about prudence, which is the virtue that helps us to choose our actions wisely. Prudence is one of the four cardinal virtues. The other three are temperance (self-control), fortitude (strength or courage), and justice (giving to each his due). What does “cardinal” mean? Like the four cardinal points on the compass, cardinal virtues point you in the right direction. VIRTUES FOR MOVING BEYOND SADNESS To move beyond their sadness, Elliot and Charlotte choose a virtue in each story. Do you know what a virtue is? It is a habit of doing good. At first, doing something good requires effort. But with practice, it becomes easier—like learning to ride a bike!

49 As it is not always easy to practice the virtues, Elliot and Charlotte have found tools to help them. Find them in the stories and connect the tools to the corresponding virtues. Virtue of altruism • Virtue of hope • Virtue of gratitude • Now it is your turn to practice the virtues! • Charlotte says thank you for the good things in her life. • Charlotte opens her arms to welcome another person. • Elliot looks up toward the sky.

52 parents' Corner It is important to take care of it. From a young age, a child can identify his emotions, and by the age of reason he can learn to handle them. The purpose of these stories is to teach virtues that can help children with the emotion of sadness. When a child is sad, for an adult (parent, educator, teacher), adopting the right attitude is not always easy. Tell the child that this will pass? Recognize his sadness, minimize it, or ignore it? HERE ARE SOME TIPS TO HELP YOU Definition Sadness is an involuntary, emotional withdrawal. It does not arise by chance but by some kind of loss or difficulty. How is sadness expressed? Sadness can be expressed through tears, but this is not always the case. In the three stories, we observe different expressions of sadness. Charlotte withdraws into herself, cuts herself off from others, and does not play with her friends when she misses Nina. Elliot cries and seeks solitude after the death of his godfather. Charlotte loses her enthusiasm and her joy of life while her mother is out of town. In general, when a child is sad, he drags himself around, he is folded in on himself, and his hands are closed. Sadness signals a particular need of the child.

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