9 1 Hello. My name is Rosaria, but everyone calls me Rose. Before we begin the story, I had better tell you a bit about my family. If you’ve ever thought your family was crazy, don’t worry. They’re not. Not as crazy as mine anyway. First, there are way more of us than you’ll find in most families: ten of us if you include our pets. Eighteen if you include the chickens. Infinity if you include all the people who take up residence in our House of Madness from time to time. I’ll start with the children. As I said, I’m Rose, and I’m eleven. I’m in my first year of secondary school here in England. My big brother, Hugo, goes to the same school. He’s about eight feet tall or something and has his own studio at the bottom of the garden, where he makes stop-motion animations. His studio is a shed with cameras, really, but he practically lives there, making bits of plasticine come to life. Then there’s Xavier, who’s nine but looks younger. He’s short for his age and has a massive head of hair. All the old ladies pat him on the head and say, “Awww! He’s so adooooorable!”—which really gets on his nerves.
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